1 more week till Prelims.

N2S - Start bloody studying bro.
HAHA

--

Soo guys, how is everybody ?
Well right now, i feel the fucking best :) like seriously,
feelings are going away, thinking less, missing him less
OH YEAAAH BABY. I feel pretty goood
Like as those things are going away,
no more worrying about shit, no more problems
relieving me of problems aye :)
one thing i know is, jealousys still gna be there so eff that.
Im good, your good? we're all good. haa
I still miss him at times, but im not obsessed with 'Part of the List'
anymore therefore my list of things that i miss is gone aswell.
that was last week's song. This weeks songs are ..
"U Turn - Stevie Hoang and ..
Not Anymore - Neyo"
inspiring songs, both about no more going back.
Exactly what im going to do ..

"Somebody say, i dont want it anymore
Somebody say, i dont want it anymore
Cause i've dried my eyes and i realized
I deserve somebody that''ll treat me right"

Pretty good aye? well yeah its good.

Going to hang with my lovely Joefan this week :)
full take fotos and hang like we used too
OH OH and Japhet gets his braces in Nov
therefore coming to Livo fortnightly,
therefore hang with him every second week.
How hectic is thaat omg.

---
I LOVE THIS LAPTOPS WEBCAM! :D
im gna cry when my dad takes it back :(


x

Satday.

So i was sooooooo excited to go Japhet's birthday today.
Like omg, first thought when i woke up in the morninggg
and then after breakfast/lunch, i found out we were going
maaaatha fuck. i got soo pissed off that we didnt go
over this one fucking lame excuse, so i went out with kristianne today
shopping made her feel rich :) aha so yeah i bought my dark brown hair dye

We came back to my house & video called japhet
I MET CARLA :) whoo, yeah finially.
She called me 'the famous shariza aurellana'
aww, lol bkos aparently japhet talks about me?
but yeah good stuff. We sang happy birthday,
we danced & shit. aha pretty cool.

I started dying my hair around 730,
we read some mags & looked up the anatomy of certain body parts
LMFAOOO how ugly is a penis. aha
but then again, how ugly is a vag.
BLAME THE COMSO MAGS. :D

She left & i took out my hair at 930.
DARK BROWN HAIR ACHIEVED, next step ..
green eyes.
after that, i'm all set :D

thats my day for yaaaa, how boring aye?
HAPPY JAPHET CABANGCA!


x

Family

This is so fucking stupid. All you fucking adults need to fucking grow the fuck up okay?
seriously, whats happening is soo stupid. It is and it will affect fucking everyone including us children. Grow balls, Say sorry, Mend Friendships. Do whatever the hell you can to fucking fix this because we all know it'll never be the same again.
No more New Years Eves
No more Christmas'
No more Weekly Parties where the dads get pissed drunk
No more time where the mothers are in the lounge room gossiping
No more little annoying kids running around screaming
No more Teens just watching movies or listening to the ipod
No more fucking bonding.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
I dont know how the fuck it got so big,
but i notice all this and i hate it. I miss all of youse.
can you just grow up? seriously, all of youse.
Its affecting everyone, esp the children.
The kids dont understand exactly whats happening
and why we dont see eachother often anymore
the random fonecalls about parties & shit.
THERES NO MORE OF THEM!

To the ..
Rana Family,
To the ..
Tamayao Family
To the ..
Enriquez Family
To the ..
Padua Families
& who ever else is affect by this nonsense .
I FUCKING MISS ALL OF YOUSE :(
PLEASE MEND THIS STUPID FUCKING ARGUMENT .
like now. ?
x

Harold & Kumar

Even if this poem sounds hella geeky, its one of the cutest poems out.

"Root Three"
I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Blast from the Past

Jonathan Mari Castro.

Taken in 2006

Aw this boy, i really miss him so so soooo much.
We caught up today, it was pretty good. Reminds me of all the times we spent together ..

This one time, we were on the phone and he wanted to experiment if it was possible to be on the phone and take a shower at the same time. SO HE DID.

He got one of those sandwich bags and wrapped it around his phone, he then put me on loudspeaker so he could still hear me. It was just like normal, just sounded like it was raining really heavily and he had to scream a bit. Then the faggot started moaning, so i recorded it and the Terence fucking bashed the door asking what he was doing because all he could hear was moaning... so Jono says "Oh, the waters cold" AHAHHAHA
awwww ..

We ALWAYS used to watch power rangers together, whenever we could.

We'd call eachother up at 2am or text eachother at 2am and watch it at the same time

We'd always laugh at pretty much anything, but it was seriously good.

We were always happy and cheerful.

He'd send me random long ass messages when he was bored, well he pretty much sent me a msg at any random time because he was probably bored.

This one time, my boyfriend was meant to call me but fell asleep on some other girl on the phone.. so i called him and we talked from 12am - 6am. My longest phone ever :) and still, noones beaten it.

Times that he came over to "teach" me guitar but failed because i barely paid attention. Yet he still managed to teach me lemonade which was pretty much the only song i could play at the time with my obsession with wanting to play the guitar.

He was always there for me in my times of need, when i'd be crying. Even though he's ALWAYS say "aw bestie, its okay . Everything will be fine". He still managed to take my mind off the problems :)

aw bro, heaps more.
Miss you man
x

On Shuffle.

So much about this crazy game they call love.
I'm a mess right now, wont you hold me together? i'm pouring out.
I hope that where ever i go, i wont be alone
So could you be my best friend,
Before you call yourself my man
But there's just parts of the lists, things that i miss.

Fucking sad songs.
Someone buy me more liquid liner?
Mines nearly gone, the amount ive wasted is amazing.

Part of the list.

"..Cause life goes on and you can never be replaced but you can always be forgotten." - Denise Hoang

I reckon that quote is so genius right there! I don't know what it is, but i love it, I'm in love with it. Its something that everyone can relate to, something that happens in people's lives no matter what.


Denise Hoang.

'They're all part of the list,
things that i miss
Things like your funny little laugh,
or the way you smile or the way we kiss.

What i notice is this,
I come up with something new,
every single time i sit and reminisce.. '
Part of the list - Neyo

So like for the past 2 days, I've been really obsessed with this song.
It's something that's pretty much been on my mind for the past 2 days.
I think i just started missing you recently, but only at times.
Like when you're there, i don't exactly feel much.
When that girl is with you, i feel pretty much everything.
and some days when we don't talk, i miss you.

There's certain things that i have on my list, things that i miss.
The way you'd start to mumble every time you were sleepy
When you'd tell me you'd miss me after not talking to me after a day or two.
Theres just certain things that this song makes me feel
i shouldn't be listening to it, i know, but it's whats left i guess.

I don't know, i remember this one night we were talking
and out of nowhere, your emotions changed in a blink of an eye
just because of this song 'Say Ok'. You told me what was on your mind,
how you'd wonder 'why?'. Why we broke up, why we never had the best timing, when we were ever going to have the best timing
Yaknow, i wonder those things too. But those questions seem so impossible to answer
they're like the questions 'Whats my purpose in life?'.
So simple, yet one of the hardest questions to answer.

But seriously, why am i still stuck to you?
x

Shariza is becoming a Youtube Addict. :(

'.. Would you be my bestfriend, before you call yourself my man .. '
Katbadar ft Randolph Permejo - Slow Motion (Cover)


This girl has a hectic voice.
Me & Denise are going to sing like her, become famous .. & we've got a plan.
HAAA.
x

My Boyfriend.

1234/Best I Ever Had - Aj Rafael & Jenny Suk.

Awww, his so cute.

--

'.. They're all part of the list,

things i miss

Things like your funny little laugh
or the way you smile,
or the way we kiss.. '

--

Well this weekends been boring as usual, i could've gone Amanda's but i didnt.

I wish i knew people on their P's that would actually go cruising with me

ahaha this makes me sound so lonely bro.

Soo, all these blogs revolve around 1 specific subject, relationships/love.

I think that this just shows how much i put myself into these situations. How much of myself i put into a relationship, I just want no more strings attatched, muck around, nothing so serious yaknow?

I wish jealousy never existed bro. OMG kill my life, its like even though i try to ignore it, it still comes back and i dont even want to see it but its like right in front of my face i can't avoid it.

Its a bitch, everythings a bitch bro.

I want to feel nothing sometimes, how good would that be aye?

pain, hurt, sadness wouldn't be part of my life anymore.

but then again, theres all that other crap that i wont feel.

.. Happiness, Laughter, Joy .. all that, so theres the down side.

How interesting would it be if just for one day, we'd all switch genders..

'To walk a mile in eachothers shoes'.

Seriously, how would the guys feel if we ..

- Kept using excuses for 'forgetting' to call them/see them. Keep apologizing, yet keep doing it.

- To be so over protective with them, or just not care about them at all

- Make promises then breaking them after a certain amount of time

- Misusing the words ' I love you '

And, how would we feel if they ..

- Over reacted over the smallest things

- Always expected us to do the 'first move' or call them first

- Have them turn something small into something big

- Picking up signs that aren't even anything.

Theres so much more i could add to that list bro, it interests me though

seriously, like imagine. I think this shows that i have too much time on my hands. aha

x

Laughing Samoans.

FUCK MY LIFE, BRO THIS MADE MY NIGHT.



x

"I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say that there was no one else that you could ever be with and that you wanted to be with me."

- One Tree Hill

On my mind.

THIS SONG MAKES ME MELT. OMG

My Plan - Gabe Bondoc.
mmmmm ;)

--
i miss you
--

Well yet again, another Saturday doing nothing, thought we'd be going out since my dads back home but i guess not. Sucks, it's too late to ask to go to Amanda's now :(

But on my mind right now is that whole concept of 'falling'. It really puzzles me as to how teenagers like ourselves could possibly feel like we could love someone so much to do such stupid things.

When your ''in love'', you get so blinded by everything else. You blame yourself for everything that had gone wrong, you don't see any flaws in the one you love even if they continue to hurt you. Even throughout the countless times people have told you over and over about this one person, you still don't care about what they're trying to tell you. You really just don't give a fuck because its the one you love that matters, you always look at the positive sides even though the negatives weigh down more than the positives.

I mean, i shouldn't be one to talk because I'm the main example here. But seriously, i really don't understand 'the hearts desires'. Why would you seriously stick to someone if you know how they treat you? Like, not only me but it probably goes to every person on this planet who's ever been hurt or been in love, a love that didn't work out the way they imagined it.

What pulls us into their direction? What triggers the whole 'liking' bit? I mean, when you first meet that person, you probably think that you wouldn't have gone out with them in a million years, but in a matter of days, weeks, months the feelings develop and you start seeing each other then going out and sooner or later you love them.

Why is 'love' so powerful even at a young age. Why are the words ' I Love You' so powerful, it draws you in. I mean, i get it, i know why people like Love. Its because its why you smile after you wake up in the morning, it gives you the biggest butterflies all day before seeing that certain someone, its the feeling of those really nice hugs. Those hugs that just make you want the world to stop and make time stop so you'd stay in that moment forever where their scent is surrounding you. The happiness you get from them just calling you a certain name, from seeing their caller id on your phone or seeing a message from them. I really get it, some people really like the idea of that. They're stuck to the lovely and wonderful ideas of Love.

But that goes both ways, Love is a whole lot of problems. A lot of 'dramas in the Bahamas'. What causes so much problems? In the beginning, everything was going good, no problems at all. Out of nowhere, all this shit comes down, you find yourself arguing with them 24/7 and both of you'se aren't afraid to get mad at each other. Even though you feel the happiness, there's still the problems that come as a consequence of feeling loved. I reckon thats why, maybe for being happy and enjoying love, you'll get your consequences later in life, later when you least expect it and you feel as if these problems will never go away. Some people are mature enough and strong enough to get through these bumps, but others .. they just can't handle it. Even though they want it so bad, they can't manage to fix these problems, the problems are then left and build up until theres too many.

A question that i really wonder, How do you even fall 'out of Love'?
Is that even possible?
I reckon the love stays deep down within you, if you dont want to feel it, it goes down. If you manage to not love them anymore, you were never in love in the first place. I reckon the Love that you once felt will never go away, it'll just be suppressed within you and sooner or later will grow to love another person that comes along.

- Just some bits from this Poem.
"I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back...
I've learned that you can keep going
long after you think you can't...
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
When it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

I've learned -- Omer B. Washington

Topic of my day. lol bye
x

Jealousy

Sorry I over reacted, again..

All this week, jealousys been my best friend. No joke, its annoying though.
I don't want to care about it, but it's the little things that i can't help but notice.
The fact that you gave her your LA cap to borrow seriously shows something doesn't it?
or it might just be me again.
You showed her Edbaybay, and i thought that was our thing?
or maybe its a new thing for you & someone else.



So i just dont know. I dont want to care, but its the little things.
FUCK THE LITTLE THINGS.
x

"Sometimes all you need is someone.
Someone to make you smile when you’re sad.
Someone to tell you you’re beautiful.
Someone to give you hugs and kisses,
just because he feels like it.
Someone to talk to every night when your day ends.

Someone to say i love you and mean it.
Sometimes, all you need is that one person
to make a difference in your life."

-Wynona Pacheco's Blog.

Influence.

I'm getting soooo pissed off at my ipod. Like seriously, its not funny. All these slow songs that randomly come on and i just listen so closely to the words and somehow they relate to me. So whatever comes on, it gets me thinking. The lyrics somehow absorb into my brain and just stay there. Which is exactly why Ganga's giving me his Happy songs.

"I hate this part right here" - chyeaaah. Seriously, I hate love and I'm wakin' up and wishing you were here with me. It seems like you change your mind just like your the weather. I thought we could seriously make it work because you knocked me down. I'm missing you and i wanna be the smile you put on your face, but baby we're going in circles. Why were you always a day too late? Now you got me hatin' on the club.

FML. aha i need happy songs :(
My ipods like raided with the saddest songs ouuuuut.

OMG and Freeman. Out of all the fucking days they show up, this day they bring their year 12 kids and we get tied. OMG, just because they've got those twins, just because theyre tall and we're short. ahah fahhhh

Fuck and jealousy's such a bitch bro. This whole 'change' is going to be harder than i expected.

I just wish man, i wish so bad :(
x