I hate my mind.

Since you started talking to me again, things have been different.
You've stopped my crying and the pain doesnt hurt me like it did before and im so thankful for that.

I HATE the way i think beause its really killing me. If my mind was different, i woulnt be so insecure about evrything therefore there wouldnt be so many problems. I see things differently than others. I see something small and some how its a sign and i turn it into something bigger. It ends up giving me hope or hurting me in the end and its fucking up my emotions so bad.

Even though i dont really know where we are or even if we are anything,
my feelings are still growing and im still falling.
The thing is, i dont know if thats a good thing or bad thing with where ever we're going right now or if were even going anywhere.

Over the time that ive known you, ive learnt some things.
Sometimes when you say you'll call, you dont and whenever you tell me, i always get a vibe telling me you wont but i still end up waiting.
So can you please do me a favour?
Dont say your going to call unless you actually are okay? say you'll "talk to me later" because i wont be waiting.
I know im a pain with this but i cant really help it, you know that.

I guess ill be talking to you whenever, hopefully sooon.
Ps. I miss you.



Where did he go - Keri Hilson

..I'm a mess right now, out of order
I'm torn up, i'm goin' down
Won't you hold me together? i'm pourin' out
I need you, thats how i feel

I refuse to believe
You do not think of me like i do you
If im right then show me, come through
'Cause i been needin' you lately ..