I just can't. Your still too important.

July 02, 2009

If i dont catch the bus anymore,
its not because i hate you or dislike you because i dont.
Its because somedays i just cant stand to see you always sitting next to the same girl. I know you'se are friends but its just the fact that i know that would've been me everyday. Right by your side & next to you. This wouldve been us if we had'nt ended our relationship, if we were still together.



July 01, 2009.

I hate thinking of how i wasn't enough, or how i wasnt worth being with you. I miss you so much but if i say anything or do anything, it wont help where we are. It wont bring us back together. i always just keep wishing because its the best i can do. Its the only thing i can do. If only the pain was gone, it'll make things easier for both of us. I'd eventually stop crying & hurting like i am right now.
--
I went on facebook yesterday and your status said 'I told you she would date me =].' (this was before i found out you did a quiz with Megan Fox) You fucking don't know how much it hurts. I just wish for the time we were happy and when we were together. I wish for the times when i mattered to you, when i was important. Now things have totally changed and we dont even talk. We dont talk like we used to, we never sit next to eachother on the bus and it fucking kills me now because your always sitting next to another girl. We cant even look at eachother the same. I cant put on a happy face because i know if i do, the pains gna come back around 10 times harder. I hate it, cos there is no WE anymore.



June 30, 2009.

In Geography..
"Change your thoughts, change your life" - Kristianne Sadio.



June 29, 2009.

I'm sitting alone in study, my friends are gone. Nothing else is on my mind but you. Its just so much harder to get over you. You tried and helped me get over you. You make it sound so easy, its because your stronger. You said you weren't doing any better than i am right now, but your wrong. You are doing better, your doing so much better. Your moving on more than i am, you seem happier than i am. We're both carrying pain but i hate it. I looked at you today and i missed you so much. When i see you i cant take it, it makes me wna cry because i know that your not mine anymore.
--
I'm fine whenever im not near you or see you. When i get to school, im happy. The pain isnt as bad but in the back of my mind i know your somewhere near. Once i see you, everything falls. I see you from afar and i start to miss you. I see you happy and i feel like crying. I see you talking to another girl and i get angry. If i see you talking to one of my friends, i get jealous. Jealous because they can talk to you and make it look easy when i know i cant talk to you. I can barely take looking at you. I hate that we go to the same school because everytime i see you, its a constant reminder of the pain i feel and reminds me of how much i still miss you and that i still really want to be with you.



June 28, 2009.

It still hurts. I dont want it to but it does. I hate how i still have hope for you and i dont want it. I hate how you were able to give me hope because now im hurting. I always thing that your gna come back to me. I always hope that we're gna be together again one way or another. I hate that we're not together. It hurts that im not with you. I'm too weak for this, i just want this pain to stop. I really do. Because i know once the pains over, it'll be easier to let go of you and whatever i feel for you. I'll be able to let go of all the times that we spent together. I'll be able to let go of how much i miss you and how often i think of you. I'll be able to move on without thinking your coming back. I hate that we were happy then all of a sudden thing fucked up. I hate how we both thought we'd last long than last time but we only lasted 2 weeks. I hate missing you, i hate the fact that i still feel for you because all i want is you. You hurt me again, like all the other times but i still feel for you. I really dont want to hate you but it seems like its the only way i'd get the pain out. I hate how we were almost there. I hate that i was falling for you again.



Gossip Girl.
Nate: If i dont stop this now, when does it stop?
Jenny: It doesnt stop till you stop it.

Nate: No matter how much we want it or how much we try, its just not working.

Serena: Okay the mans gone, you can let go now
Dan: I dont want to.

Me & you edbie. We're Dan & Serena. We've been fighting over the same thing just in different situations but our feelings have always been there. Serena was scared to walk out the elevator because she felt like once she steps out, its over forever. When we were on the phone, i kept stalling, i didnt want you to go, i didnt want to go, i knew that once i said my goodbye or hung up it'll all be over. I was scared to hang up because i still wanted to be with you.




June 19, 2009.

Its so hard to act like everythings okay, when theyre not. Its hard to act like i dont miss you because your always on my mind. Its hard to act like everythings fine when your near me because its affected me alot. Its hard to pretend im happy, because truthfully ... I'm not.



*sigh